On the Couch With Bruce and Diana
by AriaLennox
Summary: A series of informal interviews, featuring Arina as interviewer and Bruce & Diana as interviewees. It could get a bit OC, but no one knows how Batman or Wonder Woman are like when they're stuck in a room together to answer mundane questions.
1. You're Not In Love With 'Em Until

On the Couch With Bruce and Diana

_ Today, Bruce and Diana talk about the expression, "You aren't in love with them until you want to kill them." Arina is interviewing them, as for the other interviews to come._

Arina: "So, let's talk about this saying. What do you think about it?"

_ Diana chuckles and glances at Bruce. _

Diana: "Story of my life! Do you know how long I've been waiting for him? It took him four years to ask me out, for Hera's sake! I wanted to just punch him for being so stubborn! I don't even know how many times I wanted to throw him into a wall or how many Batman robots I've destroyed."

Bruce: "You weren't exactly a walk in the park, Princess. You aren't perfect, no matter how beautiful or gifted you are."

_Diana scoffs and smacks him on the arm. He keeps a straight face, masking his discomfort. _

Diana: "Shut up, Bruce. You _were_ the stubborn one in our relationship. I was the one suffering!"

Bruce: "I didn't want you to get hurt because of me!"

Diana: "Tartarus, I'm an immortal Amazon! What's the worst that could happen to me?_ I_ should have been the one worrying about _you_!"

_Bruce shakes his head and crosses his arms. Diana takes in a deep breath and rubs her forehead. _

Diana,_ with a slight sigh: "_But, you get over the feelings of hate and then passion and love comes in.. Even if you're the most impossible person in the world."

Bruce,_ ignoring her last comment: "_That's why making love is so amazing. Hate, love, passion, lust.. All of those things in one. It's priceless, especially with this storm of a woman."

_Diana smacks him harder. _

Bruce: "Diana, temper."

Diana: "You know what? You just shut up! Am I some kind of trophy to you? You can't tell me what to do! I'm an Amazon, for Hera's sake! "

Bruce: "Just because you're an Amazon doesn't mean you're right all the time, Princess."

Diana: "Stop calling me Princess, Bruce!"

Bruce,_ with a harsh sting in his voice: "_You can't tell me what to do either, or it'll be hypocritical."

_Diana's eyes widen and lifts her hand to smack his arm once more. Bruce holds her elbow so she can't hit him._

Arina: "Listen guys, let's just calm down and chil-"

Bruce and Diana, _in unison_: "Shut up!"

Arina: "Alright, alright.. Wow. Now, let me ask one question."

_Diana nods and Bruce sighs. _

Arina: "Do you love each other?"

Bruce: "More than anything."

Diana: "He's my world."

Arina: "Alright, then. Now, how about you superhero lovebirds rekindle the flame, eh?"

_Arina smiles and leans back in her chair. Diana's hand goes back down as Bruce recoils his. She looks at him and he looks right back at her. Bruce grins mischievously and holds Diana's hand. She winks and inches closer. The air gets increasingly awkward and lustful._

Arina: "It's been a pleasure interviewing you two.. Now, I'm going to leave before anything nasty starts."

_Arina bolts for the door and wipes her forehead as she reaches safe ground. She takes in a deep breath and peeks through the crack of the door. _

_ Bruce places his hands on Diana's back and kisses her sweetly and softly. Diana buries her hands in his jet black hair and lets out a slight whimper. Their lips part while their eyes lock. All of their apologizes are traded through that simple glance._

_ Arina smiles and leans against the wall. "Now, that's what love is." _


	2. What's the Story, Morning Glory?

On the Couch With Bruce and Diana

_Today, Bruce and Diana discuss their lack of sleep. Arina is interviewing them straight from their bedroom. So, instead of "On the Couch", it's"On the Bed". _

_ Arina strolls through the room and settles herself in a comfy armchair in front of the bed. Bruce and Diana are still sleeping, which is pretty unusual for two super heros that keep a strict schedule. _

Arina: "So, good morning! Can you explain why you're so tired?"

_Bruce rolls over onto his stomach and pulls Diana closer to his body. She slowly opens her eyes and sighs as she sees who is sitting in front of her. She sits up in her bed and rubs her eyes._

Diana, _a bit annoyed: _"Why the Tartarus are you here so early, anyways?"

Arina: "Alfred let me in, and I needed to meet with you guys anyways, so I thought, "why not?," right?"

_Bruce covers his head with a pillow and grunts in frustration. Diana glances over at Bruce and smirks._

Diana,_ her smile fades to a frown: "_You want to know why we're so tired? Bruce came home at four last night. He hasn't slept in three days. I had to beg him to sleep, because he's so damn stubborn. I just came back from a mission in Cambodia due to a horrible earthquake. Then, I accidently became moderator between John and Shayera. They were fighting over Rex's TV watching for some reason. Kal was complaining about Lois' spending habits, particularly over some weird Chinese eye shadow, which I did not need to know about. I am extremely exhausted from every single damn thing! And what time is it anyways?"

_Arina looks at her watch and sighs. _

Arina: "It's almost eleven."

_Bruce groans and hides under the covers. He mumbles something that makes Diana laugh. _

Diana: "Listen, can you get me an iced mocha? And a black coffee for Bruce? Just ask Alfred. Thanks."

_Arina walks out of the room and soon returns with the coffees. She stops before the door, seeing that Diana is whispering to Bruce. He turns onto his side and touches her cheek with his hand. Diana kisses his forehead and pulls the sheets up to his shoulders. __She snuggles up next to him and looks over to the door. _

Diana: "You can come in, you know."

_Arina walks in reluctantly and places the coffees on Diana's night stand, trying to avoid Bruce. She settles back in the chair and smiles awkwardly._

Arina: "So, how many cups of coffee do you have every day?"

Bruce, _very sternly and seriously_: "Ten to fifteen."

Diana: "I'd say five to seven. Metas don't need as much."

_Bruce scoffs and rolls his eyes, marking his never-ending dislike of metas, even after his marriage to Diana. Diana grins and kisses Bruce in compensation._

Arina: "So, would you say that you need more sleep on a regular basis?"

Bruce: "What do you think?"

_Arina sighs and face-palms herself. _

Arina: "Do you guys want me to leave? I'm really scared, because Bruce looks like he's ready to throw a batarang at me and Diana looks like she's going to tie me to the chandelier with her lasso."

_Bruce turns onto his stomach and waves his hand, signaling his approval. Diana shrugs and gives her a weak smile. _

Arina, _with a wink_: "I'll see you both tomorrow, no excuses."

_Arina walks out of the room, for good this time, and leaves the two alone. Diana falls onto her back and settles herself to sleep. _

Bruce: "Thanks, Princess. I owe you one."

_Diana smiles and hooks her arm onto Bruce's side. _

Diana: "You sure do, you lazy bastard."


End file.
